the only hair tutorial you will ever need

So this has absolutely nothing to do with secondhand fashion, but it’s something that I have been wanting to write for a while. And according to the internet, the whole purpose of a blog is to rant about things. So here goes:

I was perusing the internet as one does, when I came across a hair tutorial. Now, the internet is filled with hair tutorials: curly, up-do’s, diy colour and all the braids. I like looking at them in an abstract way: “that’s lovely, but my hair is crazy and I’m lazy and that’s never going to happen”. And usually I can appreciate how they are useful to other people or admire those with the fortitude to embark on such missions. I tend to give them no more than a glance and move on to cookie recipes or movie trailers. A particular tutorial however, demanded to be read: “how to get ‘just got out of bed’ hair”*. This is a joke right? Unfortunately it wasn’t. It was actually one of the longer tutorials I’ve read. You were supposed to wash your hair a certain way, and then comb it a certain way, and then use special products, and then dry it a certain way, then use more special products and then curl it a certain way, and then braid it a certain way, then sleep on it, use more products and spend more time perfecting it. I don’t even think I read the whole thing; it sounded exhausting.

Now let me step back a bit. I briefly mentioned my crazy hair. It’s thick. And frizzy and wavy but not really curly except for sometimes. Growing up, perfectly pin straight thin hair was in. This was not me. This was far from me. At the time my hair wasn’t layered and I didn’t know how to ‘handle’ it or how to use products or that you weren’t supposed to brush it when it was dry. Basically this all meant it was a large triangle-shaped poofy mess.

image

All my childhood photos are back at my parent’s, but I think this represents the situation fairly accurately. Including the great height disparity of the late nineties.

Needless to say, when big hair started coming back in style I was ecstatic. Now that I know all the tricks (layering and thinning and curl cream and side part and minimal washing or brushing) that work for me, I rock the big wavy hair look every day. I’m pretty lazy, so I don’t wash my hair that often. And when I do, I almost always let it air dry. And hardly ever use heat. Sometimes this is about protecting my hair, but mostly it’s just because it takes forever and I really can’t be bothered.

So when I first saw the tutorial I thought “I’m so glad this is a style” but also “why does this need to be an extensive 36 hour process, with only 8 of those involving actually sleeping?”. Why does the internet insist on making things harder than they actually are? (Side note, the header image is a screen grab of a Google image search for “easy hairstyles you can do yourself”. Bitch please.)

The following is my personal ‘life hack’ on how to get the perfect bed head:
Step 1: Go to bed.

photo 3 Step 2: Wake up.

photo 1
Step 3: Go conquer the world with your majestic bed head.

photo 2

♥ Pro tip: If you find part way through the day your hair is looking a little dull, have a quick nap! This refreshes your ‘just out of bed’ look while also refreshing your body and soul.


*disclaimer: this is not the actual title. I don’t remember what the exact title was. And that’s not really the point


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